Hi ya'll. So much to report. Mostly fun stuff. I got to go see Seabrook yesterday. Amazing!! It is so beautiful and Buck has done such a great job with his little shop and keeping current (right, Buck?) We also had a fantastic salmon and oyster BBQ. It was such a Northwest experience I almost cried:) We (Jabe and his darling family, Buck and his cute family and Dad mother and I) tried to watch The Black Panther but what with the little kids and Dad's frustrating vision, we got about 30 minutes in and realized it just wasn't working. The party broke up around 7:30 and dad actually went to bed then. I didn't see Dad today until 12:30. He said he had a great night's sleep but getting up and going was hard for him this morning. Just like anyone, he has good days and bad days. The bad days scare me and I now know why Mother would think he wouldn't make it until October.

The way I see it, Dad is trying to process all of this even more that we are. His sickness, the implications of his death, dealing with dying, and dealing with the cancers that are inside of him. I don't think he is trying to be deceitful he is just undecided. He's not lying, he's just confused. Right now he is asleep again so on the average he has about 4-6 waking hours in a day. When he is awake we reminisce about the old days and talk about his condition. Yesterday Dad told me about a quilt Mother was making as a cover for his casket and Mother showed me the fabric. It will cover the casket but not be buried with him as it will be on display in the house. He talked a little bit about the funeral and about the getting his affairs in order. Although, in my opinion, his affairs aren't in enough order. We'll see after he goes to see the lawyers next week.

About moving downstairs, Dad is adament that that not happen yet. However, as sneaky as Mother is, she has procured a hospital type bed that should be coming today. I'll let you know how that goes down. SPOILER ALERT: I don't think it will go very well.

As far as eating goes, his caloric intake is so different from day to day. That first day I was here Dad ate great, then last night he ate like one oyster, one cracker and a spoonful of potato salad or somthing like that. Mother did blend up a handful of pork to put in his gravy to drizzle over his potatoes he had for lunch. She is always thinking up ways to get Dad his calories. Next step, mix his Ensure Plus with his regular chocolate milk. For a guy who says he can't taste very well, he sure seems to be able to sense when Mother tries to sneak good things into his food. Like protein powder, or, Ensure into his chocolate milk.

This is my last full day here. If there are any concerns you have or any questions, now is the time to ask them. I leave tomorrow afternoon.

Love you all. When you come, don't forget to look through the photo albums with your names on them. They are a hoot! Jen

Greetings from the great North West!! Man, I forgot how much I love this place we call Copalis Crossing!! I arrived at Dad's at about noon today and got to hug his frail little body. His body may be weak but his mind is strong. I still have a few more days to evaluate things so stay tuned. I will tell you this, today dad ate: two scrambled eggs for breakfast, half of a tomato (was a BLT but he took out the B) sandwich for lunch, a chocolate Boost for a snack and then a handful of mashed potatoes (he opted not to eat the corn on the cob or the yummy spare ribs) for dinner. He moves very slowly and does wince with pain when getting in and out of his chair. Like what Lance said, he has more than just brain cancer. More than likely prostate cancer that has spread through his chest. We got some good visiting in and Buck and Carly came to visit with the boys and Jabez and his family is parked outside in their trailer to spend the night and the day tomorrow.
Right now, my gut says that dad won't be with us for long but he will make it to October. That's how I'm feeling now. Please keep your prayers coming as I bring up some tough things with him like a will, sleeping downstairs, and other questions on my agenda. Also pray that I will have the right feelings about his time left on earth. Love you guys. Jen

Dad has more than one tumor, nutrition

Thank you for posting about "wasting." The study below is performed on hospital patients, but was very informative https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5424865/#!po=5.59701

It's important to note that based on Dad's "Well Being Letter" sent on May 22, "The CT of the chest, abdomen and pelvis, had revealed other potential problems."  When I visited in July, I asked him to elaborate on that sentence.  He then explained that his body is riddled with growths that are likely cancer.  He knows of a tumor also in his prostate, but has declined to have a biopsy.  The dizziness he experiences has led to a lost appetite, is how he puts it.  I can relate; when I experience dizziness and nausea during my migraines, although I may feel hungry, eating is not appealing.

If there is a physiological wasting of the body in addition to malnutrition (due in large part to the nausea I mentioned in my first post, stubbornness of Dad in accepting medical intervention, and I also think a lack of nutrition assistance from Dad's Nurse Practitioner), then that would help explain his accelerated weight loss.  I wonder if these additional growths have accelerated his "wasting."   

I have suggested to Dad several times, as has Mother, to get some nutrition coaching/consultation and he has not taken advice like that seriously.  He responds with "we'll be fine" or "we're working with it."  Thankfully, Mother is giving him Ensure drinks to supplement his very weak diet.  Dad is willing to listen only to a Nurse Practitioner (despite several around him pointing out he needs to see a Dr) who treated him several times; unfortunately, she has not provided Mother adequate meal and nutrition resources she has requested.

Thank you for bringing up the IV!  I can help push that too :)

So Geret and I both called Dad today to ask him about his eating and trying to get through to him that he needs to get more nutrition. Dad said that they are trying everything they know to get him to eat more. I had to point out to him that it just wasn't working. Losing 10 pounds in a week isn't acceptable. I asked Dad if he would want to get an IV but he said, "No, that's for later down the road." I wanted to say, "Oh, like next week." Because if he keeps losing weight at this alarming rate, well, I've already said. Hospice comes tomorrow (hopefully) for a home evaluation and mother will try to get a nurse/doctor over to take a look at Dad and give us his/her professional opinion. I asked about his pain level and he said basically it only hurts when he moves. When he's lying still and quiet the pain level is at a 1 or 2, he says. Sometimes his chest hurts when he moves, that's where the pain seems to come from. PLEASE feel free to call him and ask him about his nutrition. Maybe we can wear him down to eat out of pure guilt He He He. Jen

HI all. Got a call from mother today saying that Dad is quite bad and that those visiting in October would be visiting too late, in her opinion. Geret and I have been talking and are asking ourselves the question, why is he dying? The tumor is not taking him this fast. It boils down to starvation. Dad is not getting nearly enough calories to sustain himself. Now, Geret looked some things up and there is such a thing as "wasting" with cancer patients. Their bodies are not able to glean the nutrients they need to live. Dad says he isn't hungry which is also a cancer thing. These things together is causing his starvation (Not to mention his stubbornness). Geret and I are going to call him and ask the question, Are you willing to eat more to improve your quality of life? If the answer is yes, that may mean an IV, since the old fashioned way just isn't working. Is he says no, and we need to be ready for this, than we'd better start travel plans to say our good-byes cause he won't last much longer. I love you all and hope this helps you understand what's going on. Love, Jen